Current mood:

Current music: "I wanna soak up the suuuun" whoops... sorry it was playing on a commercial...

Current attire: work clothes... whats new?!

"baby boy you stay on my mind... baby boy you are so damn fine!"

yea... I'm thinking about Todd... I'm worried about him... hope he doesnt hook back up with his ex gf... partly because i want him... and partly because she's so damn psycho..... and he doesnt like her anyway... he needs to find someone who makes him happy... ya know? he deserves that just as much as everyone else... I know I could be that for him... but I also realize i'll probably never get the chance... and should i get the chance and then it not work out... at least I'm not psychotic like his current ex gf is... they've never even slept together and she fucking told him she was pregnant! how childish! I really do like him tho... and I honestly think I'd be ok with it if we hooked up, even if he still flirted a little... as long as he never did anything it would be ok... so far I trust him alot... theres just something about him that I trust more than I normally do in most guys...

my voicemail just went off... i was hoping it was Todd... but it wasnt... It was my sister... I'm really worried here... I know I probably shouldnt be... but I am... like I said is part of it is because I want him... but most of it is that I'm worried that he'll get back with her because she wont leave him alone or because he just wants a gf... he told me once that that was part of why he stayed with her as long as he did... I dont want her to hurt him... and I dont like seeing him pissed off all of the time because of her... like when we were in Natchitoches we were chillin with his friends and gettin drunk, playin games, watchin movie and being stupid... it was pretty much all laughs and fun... from what I've heard it's never like that with her... they're always fighting and she wont let him do anything with his friends unless she's there... and I'm sorry but that just isnt right...

OMG... do you have any clue how much we have in common... alot of it is just stupid things... but damn! its freaky... we would just randomly ask each other questions about what we like... and it was freakish... we both like dolphins, cheese on everything, pizza (especially cheese), all kinds of music, we both even enjoy certain types of pain which I always thought i was psychotic for... then we found out that we're both like turned on by public nudity and being cought... we both have fantasies that include things like being in elavators and in restaurants and random bathrooms and where ever we're not supposed to be, where people can walk in on us as any time... and i would love to one day get the chance to live some of those out with him... i told him about the time i fucked a guy on the hood of my car out in the woods, and he was like "OH MY F_ING GOD! THAT IS AWESOME!"

he's just so great... he told me that when he was like a freshman in high school he wanted to ask me to homecoming.... i had a bf all thru high school... so i wouldnt have been able to, but i was so flattered.... he said the reason he didnt is because he tried to talk to me and i wouldnt talk to him... when he told me that i said "I'm sooo sorry! in high school i knew your name because my friends new you... and i knew your face... but i never knew that it was you..." i just like him so much... and if nothing else i just want him to be happy... i dont want him to have to worry about being stalked by an obcessed gf or ex gf... i want him to find someone who can trust him and who he can trust.. you know... all that good old stuff... but he's such a great guy ya know... he deserves it... he shouldnt have to be upset all the time.... it killed me tonight to watch his ex show up at work... she waited for him to get off work... then like 30 minutes later she halled ass thru the parking lot.... then turned around and followed him home... it literally almost killed me... i wanted to go cry and then i started cursing her out in my mind.... Becca said that she prolly has a death warrant out for me because I talk to Todd... I'm the only one other than her and his parents who have his cell number... which really makes me feel good... not to mention that i spent two days in Nat. with him... and man if she finds out what we did!! if she didnt have one out for me before she would then.... I want her to stalk me! i even told Stef that... I want her to! I dare her to! I'd rather her stalk me for what I've done than to stalk Todd... at least I could get back at her for it in more ways than one.... he cant really do anything...

oooh man.... i hope he doesnt get himself mixed back up with her...... and damnit i wish chris didnt like me so i could hook up with Todd and show him what a real gf should act like!