Dear Betsy
11:01 a.m. * 2003-08-07
Current mood: still unconfortable
Current music:not music... tv shows about apt makeovers
Current attire: pjs
This entry is mainly for Betsy, but everyone is welcome to read. There are some things I wish to tell her... many of the people in my life already know... for some reason I always feel weird about telling her some things... not because I dont trust her or value her friendship, I think its more that I dont want her to think badly of me or be upset with me. Anyways, now to the info...
Everything that I have to say is life changing for me. It only affects others if they wish it to. Its all something that I feel good about, something that I am excited about. I'm on the verge of a brand new life! I cant wait! I've been longing for a change forever it seems like. I'm discovering a lifestyle that suits who I am, I'm finding a place to call my own, I'm chasing my dreams....
As far as school goes, I've decided to go back, but only for one more semester. I am going to to to SLU. I'll be commuting and I'll only be going to be taking 12 hours. It will give me a total of 40 credit hours. I do plan on going back one of these days to finish my degree, but as for now, I need to follow my heart and chanse a dream I have had since I was a child.
While everyone is busy with school spring semester I'll be working my butt off trying to make and save as much money as I can. I'll also be busy looking into possible new and maybe more permanant jobs and trying to locate a good apt that I can afford on my own in a good neighborhood. I've decided to get a studio apartment.Its just one big room to live and sleep in, but I am welcoming and excited about the challenge of making it truely my home.
Where am I moving? some people can hardly believe that I have the guts to do it, especially by myself. Like i said, I cant wait! Remember how I've always wanted to work with animals? How I've wanted to train? How I've always to work at SeaWorld or Disney? Have you figured it out yet? I'm moving to Orlando. Yes, all on my own. If I am to ever have a chance at being a trainer at seaworld or working at disney, I've got to be close enought to be able to try. It may take me a while, but I'm willing to do whatever I have to.
I want to be able to look back on my life when I am older and say that I had alot of fun.
Now onto the harder stuff... I've been a Christian all of my life... and for as long as I can remember, I've never been fully happy with my life... There were so many rules and limitations and taboos in my religion that I have always been afraid to just be Rachel... so I started searching... searching for an answer... searching for something that works for me... not something that makes it okay to be mean or do harmful things... just something that clicks with my thoughts and beliefs... and I think I've found it... I'm still very new to it, and I'm not done doing my research on it... and there are a few questions I have about it that I need answered... but so far I feel great about it... and its just kinda coincidental that its something I have always been interested in for as long as I can remember... Its Wicca.