Monday, June 23, 2003 12:03am

Current mood: a tid bit twitterpated....

Current music: Mercy Me - I can only imagine

Current attire: black comfy pants, red t-shirt that says "my boyfriend kisses better than yours"

hey... I know my updates are all whacked at the moment... what can I say tho? Things have been kinda weird... anyways... I finally saw my dad today... but not out of choice... I went to the house to get my conditioner and I thought he was working nights but he was there... oh well... I am just glad I talked my sister into coming with me so that I didnt have to confront him about the night I left... I'm really not looking forward to having to do that.... he looked at me like he hates me or something... uugh... oh well... things will be okay i think...

anyways... I also talked to Will tonight about why I never get to see him... I probably wouldnt have found out the truth anytime soon if I hadnt have gotten frustrated with never being able to see him... and if he never would have realized that it bothers me like it does... I'm glad he told me though... I cant talk about it because I know people that read this know him or they know people who know him, and he doesnt really want people to know about what all has been going on... Its nothing like him having a relationship with someone else... its more like a personal problem that he has to overcome before things can really go much further for him and I and just for him in general... He told me that if I never wanna speak to him again that he would respect that and that he would understand,... but I cant just not talk to him... I really like him a LOT... more than you could imagine... I'm not sure exactly why... but I am... I like him soooo much.... Its crazy...I just seriously cant get him out of my mind... I wanna be with him so badly.. and no I am not meaning sexually... I just wanna be with him... be in the same house, room, car, whatever... I want to be in him presence.... I want to be close enough to him to be able to talk to him and not do so on the phone... I want to be close enough to him so that I can walk up to him and touch his hand whenever I want... I just want to be with him... be around him... I dont know why, but I do... and I am not really going to argue with that...

But you see the problem comes in when I start becoming mildly interested in someone else... someone who MIGHT come over tonight... I doubt it though... seeing as how an hour has passed and he hasnt called me back yet... but should he call in the next, oh 30 minutes... he may still come over... and I plan to tell him when he comes... be like "look I know that I have told you that I am kinda 'talking' to someone at the moment... and I REALLY like him, but you see it kinda sux cause I am kinda starting to like you a little too..." I dont really have any intention on dating him... but I mean if things dont work out between Will and I, why push him away in the meantime... because I still dont know anything about it... so... I want him to know.

anyways... the only bug in the house is now sitting on my computer screen, naturally.. because its the only light on... and its bugging the hell outta me... so I think I am gonna call it a night....

~Rach

Monday, June 30, 2003 2:06pm

Current mood: sleepy and hungry, but happy

Current music: Sponge Bob on the tv and rain on the roof

Current attire: Hair down, black tank top, and jeans

Hey! Guess what!!!!! I GOT A BF!!! WHOOO!! aint it exciting?! oh hush! It is for me! I have been single since Sept. anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know that I promise I havent forgotten about the diary... its just that Its gotten hard for me to get on the internet lately... and oh yea... in case I havent said so yet... I'm not pregnant! Whoo hoo!!! I finally got my period... I was happy.... well, anyways... I gotta go.... I need to call JohnT...