Aint it funny.. just when you think you know who your friends are.. they all start rallying behind your back... oh well.. i mean i know lately things have been crazy for me and I have talked about my problems alot... its called stress... My dad bought a new house so i have been helping him move in there every extra hour i have on the weekends when i am at home.. I currently live 200+ miles away from my home... so yea thats stressful in its self... drive 3 hours just to spend your whole weekend cleaning and moving into a house.... not to mention my having to move all of my stuff the 200+ miles back home because its the end of the semester... then on top of all of that my mom has been giving me hell... she thinks i am sleeping around and not going to classes etc... which is totally not the case... she's just being paranoid i guess... but she's been dragging my sister all up into it.. she wont even talk to me... she talks to my sister... who is only 3 years my senior... and my sister has to talk to me... and we keep trying to convince my mom that her worries are not the truth... but she wont listen to me.. she just gives me funny looks and tells me "dont worry about it" and she doesnt believe my sister either... and finals are here too... mega stressful... i'm just praying i pass at this point... I'll probably be up all night tonight working on my english exam... its a paper i have to write and i have to get up at 8 tomorrow morning to go turn it in.... and on top of all of that... the guy who is kinda my guy.. but yet not... he's been giving me hell off and on.. All this stress has caused me to hardly sleep a wink... and to have knots all up in my back and my neck... and It's just been miserable for me lately.. and yea granted I have been talking about my shit alot... but thats cause my head would explode if i didnt... lately i've been so brain boggled that i'm going crazy! And like my friends have been... i dunno.. putting words in my mouth... like one of my friends said that when she told me she had tonsilitis i laughed... which i remember her saying that but i dont remember laughing... i was probably laughing at a comment made before that one... and it might have just come up after she told me... we were on the internet afterall.. that does happen alot... and just like i said... I've been so frazzled lately... that I'm having difficulties keeping track of my own shit... much less everyone elses... maybe thats why i seem "self absorbed"... I mean damnit give me time! in less than a week I'mm be moved back home... exams will be over... and the guy thats been driving me zany will be 400 miles away! Chances are things will calm down for me and i can go back to being my regular self... cause i know i wouldnt have laughed at someone getting sick... i mean hell.. my sisters ex fiancee just recently found out he has hodgeskins disease and just went thru his first chemo... and so she's been upset about that... and I've had to sit here and help her decide how she was gonna handle the situation... cause i mean he wasnt the greatest guy... most of my family couldnt stand him... and neither can the guy my sister is with now... but she and I think that noone deserves something like that.. no matter how horrible a person they are... so we decided to keep him in thought and prayer that he will have his health back one day.. and just not talk to him... that way it wont jeopardize her current relationship.... I just think its funny.. how everytime a stressful point in my life comes up... everyone turns on me... saying i dont care about them and i am self absorbed.. etc... when really all it is is that I have so much shit at the moment that i need to sort myself out first.. if i dont sort myself out... well damn i wont be much help to anyone else... I would have hoped that my friends would have known that... instead of just flat out turning on me... I mean damn... everybody has times like that... I know it... if one of my friends is having a hard time... i try my best to be there for them... but if i'm having a hardtime and am stressed out... its really hard for me to be... thats why sometimes i just stay to myself... oh well... I gotta go... I'm tired of looking at this computer screen... and i might be goin somewhere in a bit anyways... adios