yea yea... i know, enough with the convos.... but I have such interesting convos with people sometimes.... and I like to share... and I dont really wanna ruin it by editing it into one big paragraph... so just deal ok.... ;-)

Ayluros: with talking to that christian guy and stuiff and wanting to go back to church - what do you think about being a lesbian and whether it is moral or not?

Ayluros: just wondering

SilkySkyy: my answer to that question.... i've always been open minded about it....

SilkySkyy: i dont think its right for someone to condem homosexual or bisexuals and then welcome a prostetute back to church with open arms

Ayluros: but they would wekcome a "saves" homosexual back alsop

SilkySkyy: to me you cant help who you love

Ayluros: I was jsut asking if you thought it was wrong or not - but I geuss you wouldn;t - lol - huh?

Ayluros: I guerss I as just wondering if you ever thought about it being wrong

SilkySkyy: no i dont... because for the fact.. i am a christian... at times moreso than other... but always none the less... and in the past i thought it was wrong... and I always fought with myself about it... because all of my life I've been interested in both guys and girls.....

SilkySkyy: so how can it really be? I feel the pull of Christ more than most straight people... yet I like girls too

Ayluros: I don't know

SilkySkyy: i know.... thats just the conclusion I've come up with....

Ayluros: it maes me wonder about peole like hermaphrodites - like they can be born and chosen to be one way but are really supposed ot be the other way - and they are o mjuch more common that you think - like what are they suuposed ot do>

SilkySkyy: yea..

SilkySkyy: to me... love is a pure thing... and when you really love someone... male or female... its not really something you can help.... and gender is a more biological thing...

SilkySkyy: preservation of the species lol....

Ayluros: yea - sut what do you say to where the bible explicitely says not to be homosexual?

Ayluros: like not having sex before you are married

Ayluros: which I deal with everyday - lol

SilkySkyy: but one thing i always keep in mind.... which is, i believe, why I'm so open minded about things.... noone really knows the truth.... and noone will until they die and experience it.... because for all i know we could be wrong... altho my beliefs are that we arent... but you really dont know... so i just follow my heart... and i trust it wont lead me wrong

SilkySkyy: the bible also condems divorce.... among many other things......

Ayluros: yea - that is exactly why I wonder about stuf flike Derek and i - and that is what Meaghen told me for so long - which is why I wuestion so many thign

Ayluros: s

SilkySkyy: and the Bible also says that God forgives all sins.... so.. I mean.... just because you're homosexual or you're divorce, or you lost your virginity before marrage..... it doesnt mean you're going tohell.....

SilkySkyy: its moreso the relationship you have with God.... and not the sins you commit

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: but thats just me

Ayluros: but if you are living int he sins and die, then what?

SilkySkyy: i really dont know

SilkySkyy: because so many things are things you cannot change

Ayluros: that's what I worry about

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: i used to pray every night when i was younger to keep my eyes and thoughts away from girls.... and It never really helped..... i only felt worse for thinking it

Ayluros: yea - I didn't know you felt that way for so long

SilkySkyy: i hid it... cause like i said... i thought it was wrong too

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: and i didnt know whatelse to do about it other than try to ignore it...

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: so yea... now i have an open mind about thngs.....I may think people are stupid and nutty for things they believe... but I'm not gonna condem them for it.... because who really knows... and the Bible also teaches not to judge others..... which is really hard.... but i guess having an open mind and just reminding myself about it helps alot

Ayluros: yea - I defintiely think not judgin other sis a big thing

SilkySkyy: yea...

SilkySkyy: i would think its probably one of the bigger ones

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: but one thing i will do... I am not gonna tell my family unless i find a girl and decide she is who i want to be with for the rest of my life ya know?

Ayluros: yea - I don't blame oyu

SilkySkyy: because I'm pretty usre I will end up with a guy.. so why put my family thru that

Ayluros: yea

Ayluros: I agree

SilkySkyy: the reason why i want my friends to know... is because they are who I am ya know.... i dont wanna have to, if i go somewhere, I dont wanna have to hide who I am with....

Ayluros: yea

Ayluros: but your parents expect ot have grandkids and all that - so they worry about it more

Ayluros: we dn';t really care - as long as you are happy

SilkySkyy: i mean not like I am gonna be all over them... I'm noot like that with guys really....

Ayluros: lol

SilkySkyy: i do plan on having kids one day tho.... at least one or two....

SilkySkyy: and i mean i can have them other ways.....

SilkySkyy: there are plenty of optins...

SilkySkyy: and if i dont physically bare a child.... there is adoption

Ayluros: lol- yea - but you know parents woudl worry about that

SilkySkyy: i know