I went to Brady's game tonight.... they did so good! Brady's such a cutie! I cant wait for him to become a teenager... I think he's gonna turn into a little heartbreaker! he's so precious! I'ma start working with him in ball and stuff.... to help him out... cause I mean a little boy growing up with his mom and 2 sisters... do the math LOL... when I was in middle school I was a cheerleader... he was a toddler back then... but he'd get up and cheer with me LOL... he was the start attraction at practices LOL... I was in colorguard in high school... so I was always spinning flags in the front yard... and tonight when he was on deck instead of warming up his batting arm he's spin the bat around LOL... poor thing... I used to play softball a lot... but he was just a baby when I stopped playing... so he doesnt remember... I told him I'd throw with him in the yard sometime and take him to the batting cages (the ones that pitch for you.... cause I only know how to pitch underhand... and he doesnt need to get used to hitting those... plus I'm prolly rusty) anyways... I took some pics... maybe I'll post a few when i get them on this computer!

anyways... new subject... before i went to the game I had wanted to make an entry, but I ended up talking to Betsy about it instead... and by the time we finished it was game time... but yea... heres the convo (for sake of not having to type so much... ps... yes it is edited a little)

Ayluros: ok - whenI sent you that I didn't know it was your kent - ROFL - I jsut started talking to him - lol - what a small world huh?

SilkySkyy: lol

SilkySkyy: does he know you know me?

Ayluros: yea - I said lieka big stupid - my friend jsut gotan email adress with rachel_lsot -coincidence huh? and he goes noshit I know her - lol

SilkySkyy: lol... i dont have that one anymore

SilkySkyy: and the reason i got it in the first place was cause he told me to and i was gonna be funny

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: id he still on?

SilkySkyy: do you know? cause i think he blocked me from kent_lost....

SilkySkyy: why I dunno... it never shows me on yahoo or aim that he's on anymore when i know he is...

Ayluros: he is on yahoo - yea

SilkySkyy: cause i really dunno what to think baout him anymore

SilkySkyy: I'm kinda close to just blocking him from mine and forgetting about him.... even tho I do really like him

Ayluros: yea - I don't know what to tell you

SilkySkyy: i dunno either.... i just wish i knew what the hell was his problem...

SilkySkyy: cause one day he's all sweet and talking to me... and the next he wont talk to me at all....

Ayluros: I dont' know - he didn't talk about it much - jsut started talking about somehitng lse

SilkySkyy: and even tho he says he's gonna come see me... i think he has had no intention

SilkySkyy: why would he talk about it? cause in his own words... he "rhymes with shingle"

Ayluros: huh?

SilkySkyy: think about it

SilkySkyy: k.. i just deleted him off of all of my buddy lists so.. HA

Ayluros: HA THERE!

SilkySkyy: what

Ayluros: I was jsut egging oyu on

SilkySkyy: lol oh

SilkySkyy: well... i did

SilkySkyy: i aint worried about him anymore..... *crosses her fingers for help not worrying* maybe I'll make a bracelet that says "dont worry about him" to remind me

SilkySkyy: if he wants ta talk to me... mua haha.... he can msg me :-P

SilkySkyy: and I aint goin see him again till he comes see me

Ayluros: lol- then you will think about him all the time!@

SilkySkyy: lol..... think maybe... worry no

SilkySkyy: DAMNIT I AM SHAKING.... errrr....

Ayluros: why are you shaking?

SilkySkyy: i dunno why I'm shaking

SilkySkyy: probably because I'm hinting to you to tell kent i dont wanna talk to him anymore... when really I'd love to move to lafayette just so i could see him anytime i want.... I'm just trying to save myself from later disappointment ya know

Ayluros: yea - I wouldn't worry about him

SilkySkyy: yea... but you know what i mean?

Ayluros: yea - I know

Ayluros: is kent a christian?

SilkySkyy: he's like exactly my type... minus all the smoke... he's pretty much what I'm looking for in a guy.... but he wants to play around... and i think thats all he's been doing to me... playing me... and I dont want to let myself get hurt... so I'm ending it before it has a chance to begin

SilkySkyy: i think so.... its not really anything we've discussed

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: I'm quite frankly furious at myself for letting it go as far as it has... but what can i say.... I'm the kinda girl who will do damn near anything for her guy... and I was kinda hoping that maybe if i was willing to make the drive... then maybe he would be too... and maybe something could spring from it... but I'm more scared that like i said... he is just playing me....

SilkySkyy: sorry I'm talking about it so much.... i just need to get it out....

Ayluros: you know you don't have to apologize to me

SilkySkyy: i know...

SilkySkyy: I do that tho... without thinking i dont need to... because I'm always worried people think I am blabbing

SilkySkyy: probably because for the longest noone ever listened to me... cause I talk to much.... I'm just a vocal person in that way I like to get it out, just as much as i like to hide it

Ayluros: I know

Ayluros: you dn't have to worry about me

SilkySkyy: thanks

SilkySkyy: why do i care about people so easily??

SilkySkyy: i think thats the main problem why i get hurt so easily by guys...

SilkySkyy: cause i actually care...

Ayluros: well, the right one will coem along and you won't have to worry abotu that

SilkySkyy: i know... I just dred all the ones I will care about in the meantime who wont care about me

Ayluros: lol -yea

SilkySkyy: no guy ever believes me when i say I'm a faithful one...

SilkySkyy: i wouldnt cheat on any guy i was with....

SilkySkyy: ya know who's a really big sweetie... and if i was attracted to him in any way I would grab a hold on him.....

SilkySkyy: but I'm not... and I've tried that one before... great guy, no attraction from my end..... it doesnt work

Ayluros: lol ok.....

SilkySkyy: Chris.... he's a real sweetie... cool as it gets.... seriously.... he's a great guy.... but hes one of the ones that could be my best buddy... but thats it ya know?

Ayluros: yea

SilkySkyy: we talk on the phone every now and then.... we email each other.... I've slept at his house in Nat a few times.....

Ayluros: like me and Devin - being more than friend makes me ill - lol - but he is one of my best

SilkySkyy: he stayed awake half of the night one night because i had had a lil too much to drink and he didnt want he to die LOL

SilkySkyy: that meant a lot more than he'd probably ever imagine....

SilkySkyy: he just kinda stayed up rubbing my back before i fell asleep... I was crying that night.... i dont really know why.... multiple things.... I liked todd and he was sleeping in a bed with another girl... and i wanted to see ben for some reason and i couldnt... and goodness knows what else.... he's a real winner... too bad I dont like him LOL....

SilkySkyy: anyways... gotta go to bradys baseball game.... I'll be back in a few hours.... thanks for bein here girl... Love you!