Current mood: mindless

Current music: the sound of Kent messaging me

Current attire: green cargos, red shirt, white socks, black hoodie with sleeves pushed to my elbows

*slouches in chair... arms fall to her sides.... head falls back* *siiigh* damn it's boring tonight.... I amused myself earlier by ringwhoring some more... took a few online quizes too (my results on page 4) i even made a damn survey. Got Betsy to take it... God I love that girl... she's awesome... Space Ghost just came on.... its giving me a headache... the opener for it is wild...

i hope i feel better sometime soon... I've been nausious most of the day... cat napping and such... i think its left over nerves from when Kent scared me a few days ago... yea that whole thing...

he's such a nut... listen to this...
eshuhood: whatcha doing
superrbugg: updatin my diary
superrbugg: what yoooou doin
eshuhood: shacing my back
eshuhood: shaving
superrbugg: ROFL
earlier today he told me he was plucking his nose hairs.... LOL.. and he burps at me on the computer every so often too... he's crazy... thats a good thing tho... he makes me laugh... for some reason guys pick on me alot... not that i am complaining...

I'm glad he's not like Ben tho... Ben scares me... I really dont know why... I'm afraid to tell him no or to tell him I dont want to... I've always been afraid to have my own opinion around him... I really dont know why... I guess its probably because he always gets so mad when things dont go his way... or at least he did... he turns into Ms Drama Queen... he wants me to go spend the weekend with him up in Shreveport next weekend... because his parents are out of town and we hardly ever see each other... like I'm talkin once every few months since i moved back to Gonzales... now, I have 2 real reasons for not wanting to go.. I've made the drive to Shreve. from Gon. before... it takes damn near 5 hours... I dont wanna do that on my own... and then he likes both guys and girls ya know? he seems to prefer guys tho... but he's had this thing about me since we met... and he doesnt like to kiss... or so thats what he tells me... I swear the whole time i was his little love slave in Nat. he kissed me once... and it was like on the shoulder... he normally just bit me... but when i saw him last weekend... everytime i turned around he was kissing my cheek... that was so unlike him... I mean I'm glad that he considers me a close friend... close enough to where i know more about him than most people... he's told me before that I'm one of the only people that he feels he can be himself around... which flatters me... but then he can be so pushy at times... I'm afraid that if i go he'll end up trying something and I'll be too scared to say no... or that he'll do it anyway... I've always been afraid that I am gonna end up married to him one day because I'm too afraid to tell him no... I love him to death... he's one of my best friends... but thats all i want from it... I want nothing more... and when it comes down to it... what I dont want... is what scares me about him...