*sigh* ..... In a predicament if you would call it that... it's not really that bad a thing... it just kinda stinks a little... see there was this really great guy... who is far from perfect... but he's great... anyways... everyone has always told me that i needed to just leave him alone... that he didnt treat me right... they say that they dont understand why i think the way i do... they say that i was gold... that i treated him right... and that he treated me like crap... and they dont understand... I'm not even sure i do... all i know is that once i left... once i got to the point where it will be hard for me to see him again... and theres no guarantee i ever will... once i got to that point... thats when i realized it... and i feel sooo stupid for not seeing it earlier... i feel stupid because i didnt follow my heart for once... and now i may have lost my chance... oh yea... i never said what i realized... i realized that i know he isnt perfect... and he needs to be more understanding and accepting of me... I've always wanted a guy like him... the only problem is... he wishes i was someone that i am not... someone i can never be... he refuses to accept that i am the way i am... I may change one day... but as of now... i am the way I am... and the only way i can change is if i decide to do so... there are other things i dont understand... and that i wish he didnt do... but i accept him the way he is... i realize people can change with time... but it isnt my place to force him into that change... and if he wants... I'll be right there with him through it all... no matter what.... what i realized is that noone is perfect... but that this nonperfect person... i want this person... i need him in a way... and the thing that stinks about it all... I dont think he sees me for what i can be... he only sees me for what i am not... and it sux so bad... because i could have swallowed my pride earlier and won him... but for some reason i wasnt able to... but i have now swallowed that pride that kept me the way i was... now... I'd do just about anything... but only if he wants me to... all he has to do is ask... he knows I'll do almost anything I can for him... honestly... I've never slept as well as I have been ever since i started swallowing my pride... my only wish now is that i didnt do it too late...